


Let It Go

by uwumarnermatthews



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frozen (2013) References, Let It Go (Frozen Song), M/M, angsty auston, injured auston, let me have this., mitch is a hoe for frozen okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 02:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15354666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwumarnermatthews/pseuds/uwumarnermatthews
Summary: Auston, learns to let go- with the help of a shoulder injury, a 10 day "isolation" and his boyfriends favorite kids movie





	Let It Go

February’s, to begin with, fucking suck. The winters in Toronto are always bad, with incessant snow and frost, there’s nothing to do and it’s that time before the pre cup season crackdown where things start to matter. To make bad things worse, Auston was out on injury again- something that definitely wasn’t in his list of goals for the year but seemingly the hockey gods felt differently and put him in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was his shoulder [a separation , something that had happened before but mildly was worse the second time around] and sure he knew that he was in no state to be playing- hell he could barely get the waffle tee he slept in off in the mornings without tears pricking in his eyes but another 3-6 weeks out? So close to the end of normal season? It’s like torture. Week 1 was a lot of resting and trying to not let whatever his brain was doing get to him. He would work over in his head how it was on him, how he could of gotten out of that situation. The end of week 1, brought the beginning of a ten day roadie- meaning he was stuck in Toronto, injured, miserable and by himself, while all his friends - and boyfriend were gone.  
“Aus, it’ll be okay babe, we’ll be back soon,” mitch whispered, his lips against Austons forehead. They were tangled up in austons bed, mitch, resting against the headboard with austons cradled into his arms- the morning the team was due to leave. Auston , who was admittedly feeling like absolute garbage, sniffled away whatever tears he had left. Yeah he was crying about mitch leaving, fucking sue him- he was tired, his shoulder made sleeping comfortable near impossible, the drugs for it made him feel dizzy , he couldn’t play hockey and for the most part- his favourite person was leaving him when he was so needy.  
“I’m going to be so lonely and I just I’m hurt and I can’t go and I’m letting down the team again and it’s my fault, I could of moved I didn’t need to be ther-“ Auston starts, getting upset again and mitch tuts.  
“You’ll be alright, just relax and do your physio and you’ll be ready to go when we get back. If you get bored, go get some dvds from my place, you have a key.” Mitch says, and Auston nods- the collection of dvds mitch had amassed in the age of streaming was pretty impressive, with a range from children’s cartoons to scary movies, there were a few to choose from. Mitch sighs, looking down at his poorly boyfriend and swallows whatever emotion he was feeling,this was hard on him too, when he saw auston skate off to the bench, clutching his shoulder, yelling ‘that it’s his fucking shoulder’ all he wanted to do was skate after him, make sure he was going to be alright- it went to ot after matts had tied it and bozie scored in a shoot out, they had won. “you know if I could I’d be here with you bub but that’s just a hazard of dating a teammate, I’m sorry,” he says and Auston sniffs.  
“I know but I hate it and I just, i wish I could at least come with you guys and sit in the press box” he whines.  
“Auston, babe, you need to rest, your body heals better that way. You know this. You also know I’m going to be back soon, and we can face time whenever I’m not on ice, it’ll be like you’re there,”  
The reassurance doesn’t make it any better when mitch leaves though, Auston lays in bed and pouts, ignoring the texts from the group chat saying they’ll miss him, because those only make him cry. That day is spent in bed, watching reruns of the Kardashian’s [an addiction his sisters got him into] and eating the remaining snacks in his kitchen. The next day, his mom calls early to check in and he paints a peachy picture for ema- not wanting to stress her out too bad and then, he’s in physical and mental therapy, a massage after and he treats himself to a hot chocolate from the Starbucks in the grocery store where he picked up the few groceries he needed and could carry on his own. There was a game that night so he figured mitch wouldn’t be calling until after and he has a bath while FaceTiming mitch and goes to bed, not as miserable as he thought and full of the chicken posole verde his mom had made and froze last time she visited. As usual since his injury he couldn’t sleep very well, unable to get comfortable.  
The next morning when he wakes up cold, by himself and sore, he decides that this is the worst fucking day of his life, but he gets up and eats a piece of toast and takes his meds and turns the heat up before going to his bed for another couple hours, not watching the tv in front of him, just pouting and looking at the snow storm out the window.  
Mitch calls around lunch and Auston tries his best to put on that he’s really actually doing fine and doesn’t mention how his morning has consisted of thinking about how much he hates Toronto at this very moment and would give his left kidney to be on the roadie. He talks about yesterday, his therapy appointments- how Karen said he needs to work on letting things go, that the past is in the past and that he needs to focus on his choices now and not then, grocery shopping- the mundaneness. He hadn’t watched the game, he got the notifications on his phone and Mitch had shared with him while he was in the tub how it was a tight win but he knew it would of made him upset to watch it on tv. Mitch talks about the breakfast he had and the funny thing that Matt did and carry’s on and Auston listens until he doesn’t and he’s falling asleep, the night of restlessness catching up.  
“Okay, I’ll let you go babe. I love you, I’ll text you later? I assume since you’re not feeling well there's not going to be any fun phone sex?” Mitch adds kind of as a joke and Auston gives him a look.  
He honestly hadn’t thought of that but, his right arm was his,, y'know … jerking off arm and sure he could use his left hand but that’s besides the point. Auston groans, “probably not mitchy, sorry. I love you , have a good game, be safe” he says and his voice is kind of delicate, feeling so frustrated with himself that he’s about to cry.  
Mitch knows and he knows that this was hard for Auston but he also knew that if he were to push the conversation right now it’d go south, so with one more I love you he hangs up.  
Now with the self pitying wallows of the fact that he can’t even get off , Auston laid face down in his bed, on the verge of crying but when his stomach growls he gets up and eats a couple of the granola bars he had bought the day before- his appetite not the same between his waning mental health and his pain drugs that make his nauseous -and plops himself on to the couch with his head set and sets up fortnite, playing for a couple hours until he falls asleep on the couch for the night. [A bad idea, he deems the next morning when he wakes up and immediately calls his massage therapist for an emergency appointment]  
The next few days are similar, just puttering around his apartment when he didn’t have appointments scheduled to help him recoup.  
The week mark hits and his 3rd week out starts and at this point he’s been back on skates two days in a row and doing his best to not lose any kind of stamina and keep himself top of the game but the nagging pain in his shoulder is still keeping him at bay.  
He’s on his way home from the arena, his bag in the back of his car- take out chipotle on the passenger seat, when it dawns on him that mitches apartment was a block away , he could stop in a get some movies.  
Today had been a hard day, mitch dropped his phone the day before and it seemed to have completely killed his phone so he had no way to FaceTime Auston until he could get home and get a new phone. So no mitch and no hockey. When he gets up the elevator and into the familiar apartment Auston takes a deep breath, feeling a little weird when he’s a little happier after the smell of mitches cologne fills his nose- he misses Mitch more than he thought he ever would. He sets his keys down and heads through the foyer to the living room where the dvds were stored in the entertainment centre. He doesn’t even know what he’s looking for when he opens the cabinet door to the wide selection of dvds, he grabs a couple of different ones - a rom com or two, the first die hard, until his eyes land on the blu-ray special edition copy of frozen Auston had bought mitch last Christmas, [with tickets to the broadway show taped to the front, they saw it when they were last in New York-Mitch cried and Auston pretended that he wasn’t completely in awe of the show and shed a tear] Because Mitch loved frozen, it was one of his favourite movies, believe it or not. Auston liked to chirp Mitch for it everytime he puts it on, on movie nights and knows it line by line but yet he somehow gets suckered into duets of love is an open door sometimes in the car on the way to the arena for morning meetings.  
So auston grabs frozen too, the pangs of missing mitch too strong to not. He also stops at Starbucks and grabs a hot chocolate, one of his favourite treats.  
When he gets home, he cranks the heat , the weather outside getting worse and his Arizona body not use to it, he was freezing. He puts frozen on and settles into his bed under his covers, a hot patch on his shoulder, his favourite snuggly pjs his mom got him and his bottle of meds beside him, for when his alarm goes off that it’s time for more. He was cozy, and comfortable with pillows propping him up. He flicks through to the main menu and feels weirdly excited when the “frozen heart” intro song begins. He can’t believe he’s watching this so he pulls up Instagram and scrolls for a little until “Do you wanna build a snowman” comes on and he starts humming along, this was one of mitches favourites- it was always stuck in his head, and he’d hum it a lot. He ends up watching more than scrolling until he locks his phone and pays attention.  
Prince Hans is introduced and Auston smiles , his memorized back track of mitch playing in his head- mitch would always boo , no villain in any movie compared to him, he was Evil- at least according to mitch [it was only okay if auston was lacklusterly singing the part of Hans in the car, otherwise anything to do with him was not okay]  
Love is an open door plays and Auston heart strings tug, fuck he misses Mitch and even though there only a couple days left of the roadie it felt like forever still. He loses interest for a little bit again and watches the snow outside- it was white outs across the board. Flocks of big fluffy snow blowing everywhere, he could hear the bitter wind howling outside, it made him shiver at the thought. He tunes back into the movie as the first notes of let it go play.  
“...A kingdom of isolation, And it looks like I'm the queen...” he kind of chuckles when he realizes how cliche fitting this is. He is isolated in his kingdom of toronto, alone and in pain- similar to elsa. “It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small.” he hears the lyric and thinks, its true. Stepping away from the situation can help; if he had gone on the roadie, he would of been worse off later and it could have affected their playoff run if he wasn't playing his first line best. “Let it go, let it go, You'll never see me cry, Here I stand and here I stay.”He was back on skates and he was getting better, he was going to be back soon and he knew it. There was also no preventing this, it was, a hazard of the game, he was doing his job and accidents happen. Its something he needed to accept, no more trying to work over in his head how he could of stopped this from happening, like karen and elsa said, “the past is in the past...Let it go…” He watches the rest of the movie intently, feeling oddly satisfied with the introspection the children's movie brought out in him.  
He feels better- mentally- the next day, raring to get to the arena and get on the ice. The trainers ask if he wants music on while he skates and sheepishly, he requests let it go. And so he does his skate, feeling the most confident on the ice since he was injured, picking up momentum and really giving it with his shots on net. He skates for a good two hours before he goes to check in with karen and the physio therapist- both notice an improvement in him. Auston talks to karen about his feelings from last night- leaving out that it all started because of frozen.  
He reheats more soup from his mom, and doesnt stir it giddily thinking about how he’ll have mitch home in less than twenty four hours now. He’s watching the kardashians [a rerun, it's the Kylie's Sweet 16 episode, he’s already seen it] just sitting contently on his couch- it's weird, this week has been distinctly un hockey, mainly because the thought of not playing made him pretty upset at first but now it's just a welcomed break to mundane life- not something he’s used to. Of course he had been keeping up and the guys at the arena would talk to him about it, the team really stepped up to fill in for him, the new guys from the marlies were on fire and Auston was excited to get back and play with them - something the physio therapist said could be in the next week or so. 

Waking up the next morning, to walk out and see mitch crashed on the couch is enough to make him tear up. Auston doesn't want to wake him up but the excitement to see him overpowers any guilty conscience, and he rubs mitches shoulder until he stirs. He blinks his eyes open and stretches.  
“Oh, hey,” he says and he yawns, curling his feet up so auston could sit down.  
“Hey,” auston says, smiling fondly. “Why didn’t you come into bed when you got here?” he asks.  
Mitch shrugs, “you were pretty sound asleep and looked comfortable, didn’t want to make you move cause i know since your shoulder it’s been tough- how is that?” mitch lazily gestures at austons right side.  
Auston shrugs back carefully, “it's getting there, the meds and massage stuff are helping, i'm not ready to be back yet but im skating again so, that's something.”he says and mitch nods.  
“And everything else?” he asks, always a caring boyfriend.  
“Im dealing with it. I’ve been trying to let it go? You know? Like karen told me too. Its hard but i'm trying.” auston says, his impulse to say let it go in tune of the song blocked by his embarrassment.  
They go and get back into bed for a little while longer, mitch shares his stories from the roadie while running his hands through austons hair- a much happier auston than the one before he left.  
Auston was content, warm, well medicated for the remaining pain, and he could hear the beat of mitches heart from where his head rested on his chest. He was in a good space and for the first real time since the incident, he lets it go. He lets go of whatever grudge he was holding against clutterbuck and pelech- it's not like it was on purpose. He sighs happily and looks forward to his time at the arena with the team later  
\----------  
Bonus:  
“So, what dvds did you end up taking?” mitch asks, seeing the cases on the dresser under the tv. Before auston can even answer mitch is getting up and looking. “Die hard? Lame, 50 first dates? Ok- wait aus, Frozen? You hate this movie.” mitch opens the case to see if maybe this was a joke, but its empty.  
“Uh, its in the dvd player still.” Auston says, voice laced with shame. “I missed you?” 

Lets just say, Auston is now absolutely required for frozen sing alongs in the car and he doesnt hate them as much as he once did.


End file.
